


I find a light of my own

by bichaelmanes



Series: Immortal Husbands fics [4]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Post-Movie, like you have to squint a bit to find the angst, post-op rituals, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25735816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bichaelmanes/pseuds/bichaelmanes
Summary: After every mission, Joe and Nicky have a ritual. So, too, after the whole Merrick debacle.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Immortal Husbands fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1866865
Comments: 14
Kudos: 360





	I find a light of my own

**Author's Note:**

> Pure fluff because the angst in my last two fics was killing me.

They stumble into the nearest safe house they can find. The team is exhausted, bloodied (but not bruised), and everyone is still reeling from the revelation that Andy is _mortal_ now. Nicky, ever the mother hen, immediately takes hold of Andy’s arm as they enter the kitchen, sits her ass down on a chair and warns her not to get up while he gets some bandages and whatnot. Andy sighs exasperatedly, but Joe sees her smile. Her bond with Nicky is something special, Joe realizes again. Joe, knowing that his and Nicky’s usual ritual will have to wait, takes over Nicky’s task of finding some food. Booker retreats into a bedroom, knowing he will probably face a lot of anger when he comes back out. Joe is seething, boiling, hurt like hell over the betrayal of the man he used to call his brother and the fact that Joe never knew Booker was hurting so much…but he hasn’t got the energy to focus on that mess of feelings now. As he gathers some supplies and goes to warm up several cans of soup, the only thing that runs through his mind over and over and _over_ again is that horrible image of his Nicky, staring blankly at the ceiling, a too large hole in the back of his head.

 _God,_ but Joe had wondered for a second if this had been it. With the reveal of Andy’s mortality still fresh on his mind, Joe had feared that Nicky had lost his immortality as well. Had feared he would have to brave this world alone. The relief that had swept through him when Nicky woke up gasping, the hole in his throat not even fully closed as he took a renewed breath, had been near overwhelming to Joe. Watching his Nicky die was always a challenge, filled him with a pain and grief that never truly seemed to lessen, but this time had been more intense than it had been in a long while. Andy’s mortality had brought their own long, but not immortal, lives to the forefront.

Nile comes to join him, helps him recover some plates, even as she continues to flex her fingers, obviously still remembering how her bones had been shattered and reset after that terrible plunge she took. _She took that dive for all of them_ , Joe realizes, and he feels a sudden rush of affection for the new, young immortal. “Are you okay, Joe?” Nile asks, standing next to him and startling him out of his racing thoughts. He nearly spills the soup he’s stirring, but Nile rescues the pan with her lightning quick reflexes.

“I’m fine, Nile,” he says with a smile, as he pours the soup into a large bowl.

“You know, you guys sometimes seem to speak in a whole different language with your vague-ass references, but I can tell when someone is _off_. You’re not a subtle man, Joe.”

From the kitchen table, Nicky snorts and Joe shoots him a look. “You, shut up,” he says warmly, and Nicky winks at him, before continuing the task of cleaning and dressing Andy’s wounds. “I was just thinking how lucky we are to have you part of the family,” he continues to Nile, whose eyes widen as she breaks into a smile. “You jumped from a penthouse into a car to save Andy, to save all of us, without even thinking.” Joe let out an impressed whistle. “Not many of us who would do that in their first week of figuring out they’re immortal.”

“You and Nicky killed each other at least a dozen times in your first week, as I recall,” Andy says dryly, and Joe rolls his eyes hard. Andy winces when Nicky wraps a tight bandage around her middle. “ _Sonuvabitch!_ ” she mutters, before looking back up at Nile with a smile. “But Joe’s right, Nile. That was a badass thing to do, and I owe you my life.”

Nile shrugs, as if it had been nothing, even though it clearly had been _something_. “That’s what we do, right?” She looks around at all of them in turn, Nicky, Joe, and Andy last. “Protect each other?”

Joe smiles and wraps one arm around her shoulders to hug her. It should feel weird, but it doesn’t, and Nile shoots him a warm smile. “That’s right. Dinner’s ready, by the way.”

They all shoot looks at Booker’s bedroom door, but nobody has the urge to bring him out. In the end, it’s Nile who brings him a bowl of soup, taking pity on the Frenchman at last.

Joe knows they’ll have to deal with Booker eventually, but right now, he has different priorities. After making sure Nicky has finished his soup, he reaches over to take his hand. They look at each other, and Joe can see the same haunted look in Nicky’s eyes that is probably quite visible in his own as well. They nod, then get up and wish the others good night. Clutching each other’s hands tightly, they make their way to their own bedroom, with its en suite bathroom, and before they close the door, they hear Nile ask, “Is that how they usually communicate?”

They hear Andy’s amused chuckle, “Yes. It’s annoying. You get used to their tooth-aching cuteness.”

Nicky lets out a small laugh before pulling the door closed and leaning against it, watching Joe watching him. Joe looks at him, really _looks_ , because even after nearly a thousand years, he still cannot get enough of his Nicky’s face. Those kind, green eyes shining brightly even as exhaustion blooms, that soft mouth that is simply perfect for kissing at any point (even in an armoured van. Joe knows where his priorities lie), and that god damn fucking freckle on his chin. The love of his life remains as perfect as he was the day they met. Nicky seems to be drinking him in just as intensely.

“Come on, my heart,” Joe says gently, pulling Nicky along as the other man stumbles slightly from exhaustion. But they are covered in blood, their own and others’, and it is their ritual to wash a tough mission off before going to sleep. Like washing away all the bad memories.

In the bathroom, he turns on the shower, then gently takes Nicky by his hands and pulls him closer. Their lips meet in a soft kiss, without any heat, but with a tenderness that could melt both their hearts and Joe slowly starts to undo Nicky’s pants, then his own. They break the kiss, but keep their foreheads connected, breathing in the same air. They pull of their shirts, their shoes, their socks, and their pants, throwing it all in a pile to be thrown away tomorrow. Neither of them ever needs to see or wear those clothes again.

Meanwhile, the water has turned hot, and Joe puts Nicky under it first, aching to get the blood out of his hair, off the back of his head, washing away the terrible memory of a gruesome death. Nicky smiles knowingly, indulges Joe in his need to do this, but pulls him closer, nonetheless. Joe knows Nicky needs this as much as he does. They don’t talk, but they don’t have to. Just basking in each other’s presence, helping each other clean up, is enough after what they’d been through. Nicky allows Joe to shampoo his hair thoroughly, and Joe pays special attention to the back of his head, ignoring the nausea that threatens to come up every time he feels some brain matter come away. When he is sure that every part of his love’s hair has been cleansed completely, he wraps his arms around Nicky from behind and presses a kiss to the back of his head. Nicky interlaces his fingers with Joe’s, and they stand together under the shower for a while, holding each other, revelling in the fact that they are still alive, together.

Then it’s Nicky’s turn, and Joe stands underneath the shower as Nicky spends a good long while shampooing his hair and his beard, then takes a sponge and washes all the evidence of Dr. Kozak’s cruelty off Joe’s body. Joe can feel her touch beginning to fade under the gentle and loving touches of his Nicky. When they’re done, they stand under the spray some more, holding each other, running their hands over the other’s body, as if to make sure they’re really _here_ , still together.

“Bed?” Joe murmurs at last, when they’ve been standing under the spray, doing nothing more than holding each other and swaying to a rhythm only they can hear, for at least ten minutes.

“Please,” Nicky says, and Joe turns the water off. And because they’re just _like that_ , they dry each other off, taking a break once for a kiss that turns a little more heated than either of them intended, but they ignore that heat. There’s time enough for that later. Right now their needs are for something else.

They dress in pyjamas, which smell a little musty after having gone unused for at least 5 years, and drop onto their bed, utterly exhausted. For a long while, they lie face to face, holding hands and exchanging kisses and soft words, whispered between them. “I thought for a second I’d – ” Joe says, before trailing off with a hard swallow.

Nicky kisses the frown on his forehead. “I’m here, Yusuf,” he says gently, running his fingers through Joe’s hair. “But yeah, getting shot in the mouth is definitely not one of my favourite ways to go.”

Joe has to chuckle, despite himself, despite the gruesome image still swimming in front of his eyes. “You have favourite ways?”

“I have a top ten list,” Nicky deadpans and Joe lets out another laugh, because of _course_ Nicky has a top ten list. Even after a millennium the man can still surprise him sometimes. “I do!”

“What’s number one, then?”

“The last time you killed me,” Nicky says with a grin, and then he waits for Joe to catch up.

Joe lets out a surprised laugh. “You know, if you want to go back to Malta so badly, please just take me there, instead of tempting me with the memories.”

Nicky kisses Joe softly and for a while they don’t speak anymore. Then Nicky leans his forehead against Joe’s. “I was glad you weren’t awake for most of the testing that woman did on me.”

“I’m not,” Joe says, grinding his teeth. “I would’ve broken free and murdered her myself.”

“Exactly,” Nicky says, squeezing Joe’s fingers. “It would’ve just resulted in more pain for the both of us. Listening to her do her ridiculous tests on you…it nearly killed me.” Nicky swallows thickly, tears threatening in the back of his throat.

Joe’s anger disappears at once, choosing instead to comfort his Nicky. “I am here, _Nicolò_. We are alive.”

Nicky nods, and he leans in to kiss Joe. They kiss until they’re satisfied that the other is alive, safe, and calmed down. Joe feels the calm settle over him like a warm blanket, and the exhaustion creeps into his bones. Nicky looks like he’s about to plummet into sleep as well. After a last, gentle kiss, Nicky turns around to face the door, as he always does, and Joe wraps his arms around him from behind, as he always does. They lock their fingers together, as they always do, and Joe presses a kiss to the back of Nicky’s neck.

“ _Te amo_ , my heart,” Joe whispers, hugging Nicky close to him, and pressing his nose against Nicky’s warm skin. This was, without a doubt, his favourite way to exist. Holding his Nicky close to his heart, breathing in his scent, feeling him fall asleep.

 _“uHibbuka_ , my life,” Nicky murmurs back, and as always, those little phrases in Arabic Nicky says, just for them, send a thrill through Joe’s body. Tomorrow, he thinks, tomorrow he might ravish his Nicky thoroughly. But now, all Joe wants, all he needs, is this. Them, together.

Just like it’s supposed to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
